砂をかむBiting Sand

Read a sample in Japanese

What you'll learn

The narrator, a first-time father at nearly 50, struggles with the embarrassment of being called 'father' and decides to use 'papa' and 'mama' instead, but this leads to confusion between him and his wife, and eventually his child also mixes up the terms, using both together.

Key vocabulary

Grammar points you'll meet

• ～たて N3Indicates something has just been done or is fresh. Used with verbs in past tense.
  子供の生れたては気が滅入ってこまったものであった。
• ～あげく N1After doing something (often with a negative result). Emphasizes the final outcome after a series of events.
  奴も自信がなくなってしまって、私をママとよんで様子を見たり、パパとよんで、すぐママと云い直してみたりのあげく、ちかごろでは私と女房のどちらに話しかけるにもパパママと二ツつづけて云うようになった。
• ～てしまう N4Expresses completion of an action, often with a nuance of regret or finality.
  自分のことをママと云ってしまったり、女房をパパと云ってしまったりで、混乱してしまう。
• ～限り N2As long as; indicates a condition or limit. Often used with negative to mean 'unless'.
  子供にお父さんなぞと呼ばれると、生きてる限りぞッとしなければならないような気持で、

Cultural notes

• Japanese Parental TermsIn Japan, parents are traditionally called 'お父さん' (father) and 'お母さん' (mother), which are respectful. The author feels uncomfortable with these terms due to his age and adopts 'papa' and 'mama' to reduce the emotional weight.
• Becoming a Parent Later in LifeHaving a first child at age 50 is unusual in Japan, where traditionally people marry and have children younger. The author's embarrassment and confusion reflect societal expectations.

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Topics & grammar

Articleessayparenthoodidentityhumorousphilosophicalaozora bunko〜てしまうended up (regret)